My fellow Americans, Your urgent attention is needed for an emergency bail-out to avoid a financial melt-down. I am here at the Casino on the Indian Reservation and I am now facing a perfect storm of credit risk and complete lack of confidence in the ability to repay a multitude of obligations. This crisis has grown quickly and with little warning and the situation is indeed dire. Who knew playing a conservative game like roulette, betting on just red, would result in such unforeseen, widespread financial catastrophe? The roulette settlement was just the final stroke following the blackjack dealer hitting...
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